Time and Dirt
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Day 32
Heliopause Colony on Planet Vertumna, Medbay
“Solane, good morning! Are you awake? I brought you more flowers to smell! Now you can finally see them again as well. Artemisias, although I am not sure which. Maybe wormwood? I remember hearing there are so many different plants with this name. And yet they are all Artemisia. Can you imagine if there were many of you, many Solanes looking differently, yet they were all Solane all the same? Or the other way round...
Sorry, I know it’s probably not the right moment for creepy stories now, since you need to be able to relax and... I just, sometimes think about, uh, this. Like, are you still the same I knew? Or are you a different, ... equally wonderful Solane?
...
Your smile still looks the exact same! And your eyes are following mine... even if you maybe can’t understand everything I’m saying now, you clearly get me the same way. I just feel it. Dr. Instance told me you never smile around her, so ...
Maybe she should try bringing you flowers, too, haha. You see these kind of... claw-like leaves with sharpened ends that looks a bit like toes of a hopeye? They are a rich dark green. And then you them around and watch! They are a very pale greyish green on the downside!
Hey, your eyes went large at that! That’s amazing. You will never stop being excited about how cool plants are, right? ... I’m so happy you’re here with me, Solane, you know. To have someone share that joy, especially now with everything that’s been happening.
If you crush some leaves in your hands and take in their smell... it’s so strong, reminds you of how things used to be, right? Of the earth and some of the herbs we grew- grow in it.
Of all the days we spent laying in the red grass during the Dust heat, or squatting between crow rows planting cabbage seedlings, with the wind carrying the smells of the weeds and fields to our noses. Those were always my favorite moments, especially with chilled soysweets or, on particular special days, cold slices of cake to eat together!
...
And then they ended. At first it was just we ... kind of drifted apart, but then things got harder with everything that happened, and almost everyone older than us that we should have been able to rely on just couldn’t do much or made things worse and- but, uh, I shouldn’t talk about that. Even if I still want to know what got between us the first time, I-I’m fine not knowing. What’s important is that you’re with me now again, right? And how I’ll be able to help you get better again... L-like I said before, I’ll fix this.”
Or else I wouldn’t be able to look into your eyes again, I thought at the time, but couldn’t bring myself to say then. I mean, I just didn’t want to upset you more, when I saw rain make the smile in your eyes disappear. Rain made from tears. You were crying, and ... I just wanted to see the sun again.
“... oh, it’s fine, Solane. I can’t imagine how ... scary things must feel for you now, or how much everything hurts but... you know, Dr. Instance actually gave me some help with that now. She had read through like, old Earth case files and found some advice there. What you need the most right now is apparently physical therapy. Basically something to stop your muscles from going all stiff and uh, get you fit again!
The medbed might have helped a bit with that over the past month with its rhythmic wave-like vibration it regularly starts every day and the other things it does, but you really need more. Some human touch!
But uh, I can’t say I have ever done this before. So ... I, um, we will be taking it slowly, right? There’s no need to, to worry, we’ll get there. If you can, tell me if it ever hurts, but I think I’ll notice it in your eyes.
Okay, so we’ll start with rolling over. Can you do that? Or... do you need some help?
...
Why are you giving me a blank stare again? You can understand me, right? ... Oh, wait, you probably don’t have the strength to follow what I’m saying. But that’s what the physical therapy will help you with!
So... let me *gently* roll you over to the side... oh wow, you’re heavier than I remember, ha.
...
There you go, how does that feel?
Confusing? I guess... you got used to that position you were in, didn’t you. Now you got a whole different view of medbay! From here you can see all the plants, including the ones subject to Tang’s experiments...
Anyway,... oof... back you go. It’s not that hard, really. And it’s just a bit like a big hug, right?
Aww, come on, I thought you’d smile at that... I hope it wasn’t too rough on you or anything.
Especially since we are supposed to do this once every day, it’s supposed to help with your bones and muscles from what I remember. I think I’ll get better at it in the future, in fact I want to promise it to you, okay?
You’ll get better and regain your strength! We’ll have a bunch of other exercises to try. But slowly and steadily, right?
Don’t worry about me not having the time for this. At the council meeting this morning I told Chief Security Officer Rhett that we would need to keep the soldiers working in geoponics for a long time to restore our food supply, asking if that isn’t needed for *colony security* and *military supply*. And it seems I somehow managed to be so convincing in my attempt at imitating pathos that I persuaded him! Even though I could barely stop myself from laughing at times. He actually smiled, too, and I have never seen him smile...
Anyway, since wannabe-governor Lum didn’t dare to oppose him, it went by unchallenged and we will have all the time we need and the violence fanatics are learning of our peaceful ways! And all their grumbling and cursing and insults won’t stop them from being Warriors of Nature themselves now.
Although that does mean I won’t be able to go into the garden to just relax and find some peace for a long time now... It’s never the same alone, of course, Solane. I miss you there every day, but even solitude was better than the miserable company the soldiers provide. I try to invite Rex more, but usually he’s busy in Construction now. And it’s just not worth arguing with all of them alone. I don’t want this, but I feel there’s just no other option, even just to make sure we are getting the fields and plants ready before Glow and Quiet.
Oh, and you know, Tiki! I always had to make sure it’s safe from harrassment by them, too. I think it’s better off with Dys for now, because ... he will actually care for it, right? He is good with xenos, knows a lot about them.
I’m sorry, Solane, really, I wanted it to be always at my side but it’s been all so much lately. Vace and his Xenohater fanclub seem to have those terrifying grins when they were near it and... I was worried to just turn my back on them, but that meant I couldn’t do my work, it’s horrible. I just feel like I have let you and it both down. Like it’s not enough that almost everyone seems to have abandoned you, now it’s like I am also abandoning so many of those that I promised to always look after. The flower children under our care, the crops that rely on our help so they can nourish us, xenos...
But if I didn’t, who would be left to look after you? Dr. Instance isn’t going to do more than is absolutely... oh wait, I shouldn’t bother you with all that. I see it in your eyes that this all too much for you already. They’re just darting from side to side... I will hold myself back in the future, okay? I want you to get well again, after all.
Honestly, I think getting you more of your friends here would help. At least more flowers and Tiki. I’ll go and get them right now, and come back tomorrow when it’s time for physical therapy again, okay?”